And you did it and more some! What a read it has been!
Thank you for sharing these with me. It has been the most incredible experience. I thought it may take some time for people to understand my vision or goals with this blog so I’m so surprised and thankful for the response I've had, this journey has been liberating. God has taught me a lot about opening up, laughter and how to allow things to help you grow in a space of growth rather than restriction. Never have we spoke about funny poo stories at church but I know there's some there, and the lord knows he has given them the strength through those times too. God does not turn his nose away to anyone and truly there is no topic God does not know about, so i'm sharing each and every one sent for part one.
I set out on this venture facing fears online to help others learn to be free. Help those of us that have experienced shame in life and find power in it. To help those of us feel embarrassed chasing your dreams to just go for it. Lets face it, anyone that says they haven't had anything cringey happen in life is just good at keeping that secret. We all have experienced some at some point and they are some of my favourite. Sharing my secrets online was one huge fear and boy i'm glad I’m facing it. Its been both terrifying and liberating! I’ve learned a lot about self acceptance and laughing and letting go. I hope sharing yours does for you also. I knew it may take some time to get to the connected place I imagine but boy what a start of a great story.
So here they are, the pure reason for my smiles and laughter this week, Thank you so much, ya little nasteysss. ;)
"I was in math class and I was seated next to this teen who had bowel issues and on this day I was so glad I was seated next to him because that day I had bowel issues and instead of asking to go to the loo because god forbid going a poo in school toilets. I farted and shat myself and all the kids around us were blaming the boy I was sitting next to.. Instead of cleaning myself up after school I literally missed the register and I ran home with poo in my knickers I will never forget that feeling 😂...."
"When I was 15, we had a really hot drumming teacher. The kind where every girl wanted to learn drums for no other reason than to be around him. Unfortunately my Mum saw right through it and I was refused lessons.
He went home on a Wednesday afternoon from our bus stop. I never had much going for me - skinny asthmatic with dodgy skin - but I did have a butt to die for in jeans. So one Wednesday I broke the uniform rule and wore jeans. I walked down to the bus stop and I planned to swivel round the pole and plonk myself nonchalantly on to the bench showing myself off as I went. All the way the bus stop was in sight I was mentally rehearsing this ultra cool move. Unfortunately as I arrived at the pole I tripped on the curb. Stumbling dreadfully I eventually regained my composure as the delicious drumming instructor sat in silence shaking with giggles.
Not my finest but one of my funniest and most embarrassing.."
"One time I thought it was a good idea to take my daughter to a new soft play that had just opened. We got in there and everything was great, there was loads of mums sitting chatting and me being me, I climbed up the levels with my daughter and I sent her through the tunnel. I went through this criss cross thing because I didn’t want to get stuck through the tunnel I put my foot on the elasticated type ladder and thought ok that’s a bit too stretchy maybe I’m a little too big for this but my daughter was on the other end of the tunnel so I didn’t want her falling through the criss cross (as she was a little too young) so I proceeded to walk along the ladder and as I was reaching the end, I fell through to a different level where there was not one exit and I was stuck on this one remaining elastic with it between my Fanny. Me starting to panic and my daughter laughing I was trying to jump up before she thought it was a good idea to join me at this point I had other mothers looking at me and I had to climb up with all my force and push myself through which felt like a life time... safe to say I quickly
Left after that...."
"When I was younger my mum and step dad had separated and she started seeing this new man and one day I went in to my living room and there he was with his cock out taking a picture on my mums phone I dashed out without saying a word and never mentioned it again...."
"When I was younger I went to the beach with my best friend and her family and the kids were building this dam thing and me and my best friend thought it was a great idea to play with this kite with f*ck all wind and I started running back and my foot went in to a bucket I lost my balance then and fell on my arse right in to the hole 😂..."
"I had met this boy and I really liked him and so we were doing what teens do and he fingered me in a well hidden area after we finished he walked me home which was a good half hour walk and I got home and went a wee and I looked down and saw I had blood everywhere turned out I started my period and to make matters worse I had white cami trousers on..."
"I had white trousers on and I went to this guys basketball match because I really fancied his friend and there was a few people I knew from school there and I was standing up and cheering and flirting and stuff and I walked out shaking my thang and went to the toilet in the sports centre and realised I was on my
Period and leaked everywhere, I didn’t go back in to the game and I didn’t speak to the boy I fancied again either 😂"
"First time I was staying round my lady's house. At this time I was still wooing her so was excited to stay. In the middle of the night, I crept to the toilet so wouldn't wake anyone up as they didn't know I was staying, nor knew I was speaking to her yet. I couldn't find the light switch in the bathroom. Bursting for the toilet, I left the bathroom door open and quickly got me nob out. Turns out her mum was awake. Kept calling out her daughter’s name asking if shes okay. I really liked this girl, definitely wasn't how I wanted to meet her mum again. With my penis out. When I did not respond to her calls despite the loud sound of my stream, she started getting worried then proceeded to get out of bed..I’ve never looked so dodgy than running from that toilet."
"When I was about 5/6yrs old my older brother was outside the front of our house with a small group of his friends showing off playing dares and then I come down from my shower and started listening/watching by the front door in my towel. Then one person only had to do some karate moves and I said that was too easy, so they dared me to try to copy it and as I did my towel fell right down to my ankles... thank god I was too young to have boobs 😳 "
"I walking walking a long journey with my friend in the pouring rain and I really needed to pee, being female I had to wait to find some bushes to hide in (desperate times😳). The nearest ones where down a little hill then into a clearing in the woods which was hidden, but there were a few tree stumps down the hill which I tried to use as stepping stones to get down. Forgetting that it’s raining in the urgency of my bladder I ended up slipping on the second tree stump and slid/jumped down the last 3 to the bottoms of the shortish but steep hill. By which point the motions of my actions have unfortunately released some of my wee. I had to walk home with my hoodie round my trousers, thank god it was night time so no one was around 😵"
"One incident that sticks out for me is the first time I dyed my greying hair. All day I felt so proud of myself for doing it and felt
like I had done something super clever. When I got home and really looked in the mirror I realised that all day my ears had been a dirty grey colour as I hadn't washed the splashes of dye off my ears. Whilst I cringed I was also able to laugh at myself. Had
the incident happened pre recovery I would have wanted to escape from the world feeling overwhelmed with black shame. Because I had learnt to love and forgive myself (with the knowledge of how to banish that shame via Christ in my case), I can reflect and
Now I hope you sip your bedtime drink with that sassy excitement of self acceptance and love. You go people! Now go grab the world by its b*** as there truly is no stopping you once you've shared your secrets and embraced it all on the internet. Oh boy thank you so much, If yours was not sent in time please know I cant wait to share part two! My best wishes, go get them, know whatever embarrassing thing happens next its a bloomin great story. God bless xoxo