top of page

Remember Your List -

Updated: Jul 20, 2020

Tighten your stiletto straps ladies this ones to help some of you that has needed it, break up with your boyfriends or any of you maybe delete a f*ckboys phone number and have sangria with your single self. Your sorority of sister support. Truth is, you deserve to be with someone that isn't afraid to show you they care. We've all had an experience of being treated unfairly. You'll see today, we all need to remind each other to laugh let go, check our worth, have boundaries, protect our well being, forgive and feel fabulous.

This is for every person that has questioned their worth because of heartbreak. Grab yourself your iced mocha and get ready, today we're in for a magical experience. Women have shared with me their worst date stories, relationship red flags and what they wish they'd said to the worst things said. Thank you to every women that anonymously sent these in. Scream at the screen, hug your phone and feel that sister support. As well as this blog has honest tips and advice we all should of been taught growing up. Its never too late to learn how to heal ourselves, forgive and get a new positive life changing exclusive 'vagenda'. Even if you are starting that journey today or not, one day using these tips, you'll wake up and believe you are worth more. You my friend are one of a kind, a treasure. Your validation is never determined by somebody's inability to show you your worth. Heartbreak can bring the worst and the best out of us. So lets learn how we can turn it into something beautiful for everyone, and first that starts with a little honesty, you're welcome.


Worst Date Story Okay so there was one time I went on a date with this guy and it was horrendous. He was very forward, very pushy and quite frankly rude. It was clear that he thought of women in a toxic way. So anyway, we went out for an hour, he then continuously messaged me being like 'oh when can we next go out then? Why don't you come to mine?' I was like omg I'm sorry but no I don't want to see you again you're a bit too much but I hope you find someone (because clearly desperate) and he was messaging me all like 'you're such a stuck up bitch so up yourself and think your better than every one else you used me I hope you die' blah blah blah.

All I can say is, glad I skipped that one.


"I'm glad you skipped that one! Raise your hand Ladies if you have been in this situation.(Room of fed up females raise their hand) Well I curtsy to you, for your body is a temple and every no, should be microphoned! I hope you inspire others to drop a big fabulous No. Whilst your end goal dating people may be a picket white fence, theirs may just be just be sex. We are all learning to read the rush, be open with our intentions and not find shame in them. Celebrate when we say No, no matter how their reaction has made you feel. Your voice is powerful"

Worst Date Story

We went on a cute picnic together down a park and I didn’t have my shoes on and I was messing about on the grass and got dog poo all over my Foot and in between my toes...


Time for the salon for a mani pedi! Can you imagine, I cant help but wonder what happened next, us girls have odd ways of trying to save us from humiliation, even if they make things worse. Stepping around on the grass with a casual slide step and wipe? Rush to the nearest public toilet smelling like you've crapped yourself? Did you have him know laughing with you and out looking for leaves? Whatever route you took, I honour you! Also makes me fee better about the time I had a "double date" where I achieved a epic hand-stand sure to impress the boy, only my hands landed in warm dogs poo, but we'll save that story for another time.

Worst Date Story:

Well I did go to dinner with a guy who told me his mother left when he was six. Then went on to say when he and his wife split up there was no way she was getting the house so she left and couldn't take the children as she couldn't afford a new place big enough for them. So he had effectively made his kids grew up without a mum too. I made him pay for the dinner then never saw him again.


Us women must have each others back, always. Maybe you two women could get together for a wine and whine and dine. Whats better than sisterhood anyway? Good on you to the strong sisterhood, red flag acknowledging badass women that sent this in. Anyone else noticed the biggest red flags are how they talk to others or speak about their ex, (looking for sympathy to sleep with you in a suspicious way or being completely unkind, swipe left)

Worst Date Story

When I was young I was seeing this boy who was a bit older than me and I really fancied him we went out for a walk together to get some alone time and to get to know each other and I was in flip flops and we thought it was a good idea to go down this hill instead of going round it we were holding hands and walking down suddenly I lost my stepping and because I was wearing flip flops I completely fell over myself and pulled him down with me we both rolled down the hill together and after it I was filthy dirty and had really dirty feet and had managed to get a splinter in my toe and he got it out for me I never felt so embarrassed we didn’t talk again after that


We've all fallen head over heels for the wrong guy. If he didn't call to check on you and your toe, is he the kind that would remember your birthday? A sign for some shoe shopping i'd say, that's what I tell myself when I step in s**t, universe has helped me buy some of my favourite things I own so far. Those flip flops were a blessing, not only do you have a great story to tell with cocktails and such a brilliant funny memory but what a lesson, clumsiness is a part of life, accidents are a part of life, if you're with someone that cant handle that then they have a lot of the world to learn before starting a relationship.

Worst Date Story I just got with my partner at the time and we just started dating and we went out for a meal and some drinks and then started getting jiggy haha and as I got on top I was sick all over him...

Response: Careful mixing your drinks ladies, you may be puking over your Knight in shining tequila, and I thought clearing your throat during sex for a less exorcist sounding orgasm was embarrassing enough. This story has me inverting and ducking my head into my whole body like a turtle. For you are a hero.. "

Worst Date Story I remember going shopping with one guy in a posh department store and asking him to guess the price of the sofa I was sitting on. Straight up he just said £7k completely deadpan. (Which was about £50 out). I remember being speechless because I had just had all the windows in my house replaced for £7k. I cannot imagine spending that much on an ugly sofa and thought the price tag hilarious. I noticed a really big difference in spending priorities and at that moment missed my down to earth friends and knew our circles would never mix well.

Response: "Twerking in a ballroom does sound fun. With that said, no one in the relationship should feel in the corner, a wedding party bonded and celebrated. As well as a similar hustle, mutual excitement for a bargain or the finer posh things I'd say. Soulmates friends are forever. When you find someone that can be excited to meet those you love, them be excited to include them to see you smile, That's the jackpot."

Worst Date Story

I once dated a guy who loved art. I jokingly mentioned that I would only go to the Tate Modern to take the mick out of some of the artworks. I consider myself to be intelligent and am happy with my sense of humour. The realisation came when he said very seriously and sternly ‘its only because you don’t understand it – I will go with you and can explain it all’. I knew I could never be childlike or play with this chap.


"Find people that encourage that smile and are curious about your own opinions, not make a museum date feel like a lecture from a professor. or answering question feel like an interrogation. No one should ever limit the things they love for that's how we can see them happiest. Never lie about your interests or dull down your passion or humour. Catch yourself when doing otherwise, are you starting off as a role based relationship or a soul one?. Art doesn't need to be understood by everyone its an expression, just like us people. There are many that will laugh with you and your jokes and encourage your voice."

Worst Date Story

So I was really young, I think still a virgin about 15 probably, and I started talking to my friends mate.. (Let's call him Simon.) Me and Simon were talking for a couple weeks and when I went round he would be a little flirty and offered to walk me home. So this went super slow, after a couple weeks of walking me home he kissed me. 3 weeks after the first kiss he was like oh ill take you on a date I was like uh okay, you don't have to but we end up in spoons having dinner. Now he was sweet but I'm sorry this sounds so harsh I was just bored. I didn't really know how I felt for that first month or so and I said straight up on the way home "i'm sorry but I don't really want a relationship like thank you for everything and you will make someone very happy one day but I just don't want it right now".

Anyway he cried in front of me and kept asking if I'm sure before I went home. Next I know he is SOUURRR and man he just avoided me like the plague and started telling all our friends I've really upset him and he feels used. I was like we kissed once. Response:

"Compatibility is everything. Well done for being honest and kind and respecting his time. I've felt like a Simon at times, haven't we all been a Simon? Lets not be a Simon this time, and make room for all of us making positive choices."

Worst Date Story:

After a long and struggling relationship where only the sex worked, he said that he had bought a Tag Hauer watch. He had always wanted one since he was six years old. When I was six I wanted to fly. I cannot imagine what kind of childhood would result in a six year old wanting to own a £3k watch. This was a real insight into why only the adult side of the relationship worked - there was no sense of childlike fun, no playfulness, as I realised he wasn't in tune with his child self and was all about appearances. Response: "I mean whats a soul mate without zip wiring across a water park, karaoke or throwing popcorn at a cinema screen am I right?.. something like that. Friendship and adventure are the most important things in a relationship. However when I was 6 I was dreaming of magazine covers and movie posters and 90's runway Chanel, as well as this incredible spy watch that a kid hid Pez sweets in."

Worst Date Story

I remember meeting a guy for coffee from a dating website. He negged me. For anyone who doesn’t know, negging is a bizarre seduction technique that men use on women who have diminished self worth. Basically, they in-validate something about you or what you've said or give you a back handed compliment to make you try harder to please them and get an easier lay. The neg just landed on the conversation and killed it stone dead. I'm sure he was was expecting me to ramble with ways to excite him. I looked at him in silence like I was noticing he had two heads. Thinking back now I am quite insulted by the idea that he thought I'd might fall for it. Can’t even remember what the neg was. But Priorities girl.


"The neg. We've been there, not one women brought back a postcard. Unfortunately some men have been trained the opposite, but if they want to see someones sexy side, they could have better results it they make women actually feel it. PREACH! Its true that no women feels sexier then when she feels desired, respected, attractive and interesting. Why anyone could think making a women insecure or deliberately restricting conversations to unexciting empty ones are going to help have a fun evening or half decent sex. It just makes them look like a twat and you feel like one. The cycle must stop. For everybody's sake. From the way media and society shapes men into thinking this is okay. But also from within us. To walk out, kick out, to recognise, to say no, to not message or seek validation when you've already made your mind up. NEVER dull your shine or humour for anyone. To never EVER seek comfort from someone like this. For there are magnificent people that will adore you. For we feel comforted when we OURSELVES are being comforted, if you don't feel like you, what you say or interested in is accepted or pretended to be then turn to someone that loves and knows you, you. There's no love quite more special then that (even if and especially if you're yet to experience it). Neg practices, lets not be a regret and all make room for fun conversations, kindness and all feeling sexy. Respecting someone and letting them know your honest intentions with kindness and consideration is always the best way to go.

Worst Date Story:

Without intending to come across cocky, I’ve always known my worth and despite having some crap thrown at me (metaphorically) from many people; I just wouldn’t ever take shit from men. I can say proudly that I have always smelt their bullshit a mile off. For some reason, guys find it quite hard to hide their intent once they’ve had a few pints. I wouldn’t have to earwig very hard to hear the complete disrespect for women, the cheating, the name calling...What an insight it was! I apologise for being so vague, but I’m sure you know what I mean! I never thought I’d meet anyone decent at the pub; but as it happens I did. I asked my ‘just a fling’ boyfriend what his first thought was when he saw me, I thought his response would be quite romantic lol, however no. His first thought apparently was “I’m going fuck her” looking back we both only wanted a fuck and I’m sure if I asked him the day we met, his response would still be the same. He has never tried to feed me any bollocks, his honestly is one of his best qualities lol, we’re almost 10 years deep and he’s now married to me and we have a kid! Here’s to much more fucking and bullshit free, happy years!

Response: "OI OI NANDOOSS, STELLLAAA SHOW US YA TITS AND DON'T TELL YOUR FELLA" "Or don't share with the missus what happens tonight lads" "Don't worry about me missus she wont know" Only she will because she deserves to and it's her life. As well as us girls have intuition for a reason. And if this has ever been you that's cheated on, you deserve to be on top of a cheer leading pyramid thrown in the air with a fierce landing, huge cheer and a celebration processo because you have the opportunity to discover life in such a more fulfilling way. And to you that wrote this, the strong fierce badass woman that doesn't take no shit, I'm so glad you found someone honest fun and bullshit free. A honest funny and genuine person isn't afraid to be real about their intentions.

Worst Date Story

Me and my partner went on a date night to the cinema and I got a bit too comfy and fell asleep on the chairs and he swears I was snoring but I don’t think I snore


Celebrations to not waking up with a drawn penis on your face, amen to that. You my friend, may not snore, some lie for the reason of us wondering why. You may be the most peaceful sleeper resting like a princess awaiting her prince, popcorn and prosecco. His perception may be wrong, however if not and hes given you a heads up, still bit better than finding out you snore by ending up on tik tok.


Truth is I was feeling kind of a bit shite about something. And the truth is, I was afraid of doing all I needed to do to change that. So I’m taking my power back today. And who knew i'd be doing it from the comfort of a giant 5* hotel bed with room service and listening to Liza Minnelli (we'll get a little more into that luxury later)

To forgive people for how they have hurt you, first you must take that step to rebuild what you felt you lost-within yourself first. Otherwise, we can end up carrying resentment around with us like a knock off Louis Vuitton bag, Beautiful to stay when you love someone but so false and damaging for both.

Learning not to hesitate when it comes to self care and self-respect. Hesitating leaves time for others to shape your growth in a way they want. Leaving that in the arms of someone that can be unkind to you. That has shown you they're not caring about your well being or respect is not okay. Not okay! You have everything you need to fix your life within you. You are everything you need.

And I promise there is something magical about recognising you can love someone that hurt you, but that love solves a different purpose. To be grateful for those that have hurt us we must realise that we are truly destined to meet these people, but that doesn’t mean each person that has told you they love you and then broke your heart is your forever destiny. And that’s okay. There is something beautiful in discovering this.

And that's why before I share any of the fun exciting posts I have been working on (and all the wonderful stories and photos sent in by others) I needed to be real. I needed to speak up for everyone that questions their self worth. Every person that has been cheated on or is repeatedly so. Anyone that experienced emotional abuse or any form of, I needed to be sure I'm writing for the right reasons. Using my voice to speak the truth. After being inspired by my movie night, ( watching Hes just not that into you with my two honourable bachelor's, Ben and Jerrys) Made me want to share some of the honest tips and genuine advise I've learned from my life. And hopefully handing a speakerphone to each person that feels there voice has ever been overshadowed by someone.

So here we are, some of the first steps to forgiveness. Feeling fabulous, healing your heart and everyone making better choices, A wonderful thing. Sometimes learning to forgive ourselves for not listening earlier or not speaking up can be the hardest bit. Taking responsibility for own happiness when others have hurt us can be the hardest thing.

Here are some of my tips to feel fabulous and truly forgive after being hurt. Disrespected adds a whole new fire for self care. One day you will be so grateful for the steps you take for yourself because of where they will take you. And that's the untold beautiful true chapter to your favourite fairy-tales. 💕


I've said it before, and i'll say it again. Spending and preparing a date night with yourself exactly how you'd like and dream. Chocolate strawberry's and cream your skin like liqueur. Nothing makes you feel more excited in one self than sliding into a silk or fluffy PJ's after a spa bath and fresh sheets and watching a movie with a glass of wine. Here are some of the best healing heartbreak films for you to start with. Get comfortable, order your favourite take out, roll up those cosy socks and watch Legally Blond, Miss Conginilaty 2, Nobody's Fool, I feel Pretty, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, John Tucker Must Die, How to be single, Birds of Prey.

Or if you are a Pretty Little Liars fan looking for a distraction and new teen horror series, (and character's that help you feel better about your own life?), then try the scream teen horror series on Netflix, it is brilliant.

YOUR LOVE LISTS- The List - Remember your list? the one you wrote when you were younger about the qualities you want in a soul mate? Well write a new, incorporating everything you now know about love. Reminding yourself of what you want and need in a relationship can remind yourself to stop seeking validation from someone that doesn't deserve the hard work you're putting in to get it. As well as tells your heart and brain to look forward.


No I don't mean a rebound ladies, i don't quite believe in them, vitamin d however, is everything. Studies show that the sun and vitamin d balance outs hormones in the brain to help with heartbreak. Whether its myth and a cheesy article I've read or not, it made me feel more insightful and honestly makes so much sense. So a holiday your doctor may advise, not complaining, get some sunnies and enjoy the sun.

Dos and Dont's list- Dos and dont's. So writing in collums next to each other is a great way to spark choice. Awareness in the one you're taking and the one you want. Your dos (what you want in a relationship- laughter, compassion, adventure, support, encouragement, safety) and your dont's (cheating, being un-supportive, name calling, inconsiderate, shouting, forgetful) seeing them next to each other is a whole new experience. But worth doing if you are currently on a quest to making better choices. This type of list can help in many scenarios.


Donating things to others or stores is a beautiful way to appreciate things in your life and stimulate a part of your brain that allows you to let go of things. Reorganising your closet ladies sparks more is possible. Get your nicest fun things you own easier to access. Your makeup and accessories are easier to access. Make it easier for you to care for yourself, or wear the things you like.

Not only that, but being able to play with old clothes in a new way makes you feel like you've been shopping from the comfort of your own home. And if there's an option for it,we'll take it. Well I know I will.


Treating it like it’s not an untouchable subject. Because it’s not. Embrace each aspect of your life and allow yourself to move forward. Speaking up helps you realise these things aren’t your fault. These things happen. when they do it’s not your fault, but is your responsibility to let it shape is in a positive way. as much as we want them to fix it. If its hard to recognise yourself because of resentment, know it is you that you miss not the person being unkind to you. You miss the people that know you. You can do this and you will feel a relief that you showing the friend within yourself that it isn't something shameful for you.


Writing a thankful or what some call an other list. Writing a list for all the things you are thankful in life, helps you feel focused around other positives you have in life. Your soul sisters or a childhood friend, a series on Netflix. A cat, a puddle that reflects the trees so beautifully. Your family and dreams and ambitions. Write your other list to remind you, it most certainly isn't the end of the world and can remind you of your happy things.


Jewellery- whether its a promise ring to yourself, a friendship bracelet with yourself, a locket with your childhood promise in there, buying yourself something so significant to celebrate or remind yourself for this exciting journey.

One day in the future you'll open up your jewellery box and looking at this item, you'll be in love with now you, so thankful for making the start of something magnificent.

A New Perfume - New significant scent, not only does it make you feel like a new indestructible women, but been proven to attract so if you are a fan of flattery then spray and stray to the shops. When the breeze and wind sweeps outside it sends you a sweet reminder as if its your very own kiss on your shoulder from yourself.

Nightwear - Whether its silk and lace and feeling glamorous from the comfort of your bed, or the softest textured two piece to hug your body, buying yourself new nightwear is the best, especially if spending a lot of time in bed Netflix and crying, may as well have you feeling like a million bucks for a bargain satin robe and some cosy socks.

Power Pair (new shoes)- For me a platform 70's inspired boot has me feeling like I can take on the world. Whats your power shoe? Sliding into a new pair of shoes after lifting the box lid and carefully unravelling the tissue is like all year Christmas. New shoes when making new steps in life is such a beautiful gesture, oh the places they'll take you.

Honest Advise that we should of been taught growing up:

There's many societal issues for both men and women each of them deserving of a podium. Throughout the years we have been brainwashed or advised the wrong things, not anymore! You'll never catch a bull sheep tip on my site and that's a promise! Every tip and advise I share are thing's I genuinely believe could help someone or need to be shared. And trust me, I took many of this wrong advise to learn it was all a lie and learned to re write my own, i'm glad I did. And trust me, I'm worse off when I don't take my own advise. And the biggest piece of advice I could give, listen to your own.

Here's what I learned from all the years of advise I've been told growing up. Cheers to YOU, learning from life and appreciating each chapter. "Clinggg"

Making decisions to better our future helps you find beauty each painful chapter and that's a beautiful thing. Here's some of my raw and honest advice I've learned though out my life.



In a soul based relationship they would encourage you spending time doing things that make you happy and you also. Doing things for others in a relationship comes naturally and appreciated for when in soul based relationships. They would not require all of your time doing things and running tasks when you visibly need rest. A "role" based relationship may even require the same when you're sick.

In many cases get angry when you overcome a milestone towards your own happiness. I'm pretty sure what we'd all choose now knowing this.

Beautiful thing about a soul based relationship you wont limit your wonderful character and interests. Whereas a role based relationship you feel you have to role play to keep things afloat. Make room for loving a natural relationships by being yourself, not limiting yourself. For your personality is priceless. Laughing with no limits.


First of the saying "men will be men" is a term used so we settle for mistreatment and totally dismisses all the amazing men that are out there and are deserving of you. Need I remind you Jesus was also a man. There's some great ones out there, there is someone out there that deserves the love and attention you can provide. Don't let this saying 'Men will be Men' convince you this is all there is. Because it certainly is not.

Whether this is considerate communication and no name calling during an argument, honesty with each other or being faithful. We all have them boundaries going into a relationship. Of course many are obvious but when in a relationship we expect the one we love to listen. If they don’t down the line and worse refuse to care, or pretend to, you end up questioning more than him, please listen to yourself and the actions you've been shown. You have boundaries there for a reason, to protect yourself your life and what YOU your conscience not love sick self wants for you. Especially promises that are broken more than once. When we brush it under a rug, we feel unkind towards ourselves and the feeling of being unheard grows. This can and will change! You deserve to be with someone that wants the best for you as you do him.


Naturally you will want it and do deserve it. You’ll get so much more from your self excitement especially after being hurt if you do not ask for this from others. You are everything you need.

That waiting/hopeful period of time where you want them to prove things to you just leaves a chain around your security. Create your own security, destiny, enjoy the things you love, wear what you like, listen to music that excites you, create your own validation by self acceptance in who you are. Because you are amazing. If things have gotten to a place where you constantly left needing more reassurance rather than them offering it after hurting you, give yourself that stability by telling yourself you deserve it. If you haven't already and cant trust them then leave them, today! Buy yourself flowers, a new perfume, write yourself a letter. I PROMISE YOU, you have everything you need within you. you know you, what you love, what you need to hear.


Closure is so possible and we'll get to that shortly. Now please understand I come from love when I say seeking Closure from a crappy ex is kind of a bulls*** term. Seeking this from others continued to treat you poorly this is. I used to believe this was so important and seeked closure from others in many situations at first, I thought it was essential to move forward.

That was until I realised it is a term used so we still hold hope in situations that may not have served us well. So we still seek respect from a situation of disrespect, why? Closure (what you are seeking), is so possible! It comes from starting a new chapter for yourself. Peace comes from accepting and appreciating what things are and have been rather than what you hope for them to be or have been. Knowing your validation does not come from somebody else's mistakes and actions. Your sanity comes from feeling heard, Listen to you, Drop the microphone. Finally do things your way because your way is great. Respecting and listening to yourself because you are powerful.


Chemical balances change, so let's choose someone you can agree with.. Someone with views similar so you can hype each other and thrive, for example: if you are a peace equality activist maybe don't get with someone with different views as you..., although its great preaching practice, you don't want to be arguing more than you laugh. Nor have the person closest to you say things you naturally find unbearable to hear. Sounds silly to say as of coarse you'd hope to know this before falling for someone or feeling a 'spark' but truth is sometimes you don't, love drives us crazy, and the spark can leave you chasing it back and someone not right for you. You don't need to have the same views on everything, morals however are so important.


Heartbreak is only a level in life's video game and you've just levelled up. Passing gatekeepers and accomplishing battles against zombies or in your case, heartache.

Heartbreak does not exist for break is a term used for something that cannot be fixed, you my friend have everything you need within you. And that's rather exciting don't you think?! So level up, drop the microphone, wrip of band-aid and live your life the way you dream. You deserve to feel loved and know you are worth it. And certainly don't wait for happiness, love or confidence to do the things you dream, just do what you do know, start with what you do and the rest will follow. Things can be difficult, but no one said truly living life was always going to be. Making the most of each situation, Know that even your shit can be sparkly if you add a bit of glitter.

I'm happy to say i'm finishing editing this from a 5* hotel wearing towel robe, where I've been reading a cosmo by the pool, ordering room serviced baked beans, late lake walks and Pinot Grigio pond picnics for just me, exploring rupezels tower, (a spooky tower with cobwebs and creaky floors) restaurant reservations for just one but most of all discovering my personal power (thank you also to the bumble bee's reminding me to continue this).

Those people in coffee shops by themselves, they always inspired me. I'm excited to say I am now finally one of them.


That fire and flare to truly listen to yourself and experience life. That fed up feeling after heartache is your superpower, owned by you and only you. Moving through each obstacle and choosing to make a moment out of everything, no matter how difficult things are, kind of like crying in couture or the cheapest finest Primark satin gown, adding your sparkle to your poo whatever that means to you. Whether that's a day with netflix and ice-cream or lighting candles to masturbate to. All the way to diploma of your dreams and a trip away. Living your life with no limits means embracing the bad, not waiting for happiness to start to live, starting with what you do know, not rushing the rest. One of my favourite quotes is no surprise from the word king himself, Martin Luther King, "you don't need to see the whole staircase to take the first step."

Your dreams and ambitions, Self care and flare are worth it and trust me, there's nothing a man can do that a women cant do for herself ;) something like that.

Best wishes my bad b*ches, you are one of a kind. About time you start treating yourself like it.

133 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page