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MY SCHOOL DIARY - Friends with myself

The book with some of my juiciest secrets and most embarrassing of my stories from primary all the way up to high school. Ahh not as glamorous as you may think. Turns out I had a period page?!

If you thought me and my younger self was going to share who I was thinking about in grade 8 or what my first kiss that tasted like chocolate was like, my prom night or the time my swimsuit fell during swimming gala, well I don't blame you they are brilliant stories. There's something so empowering about sharing secrets and owning it all, like I said, nothing can truly stop you once you've shared your secrets on the internet. But you'll have some blanks and names to fill today. I have plenty of embracing my funny stories and lessons learned to come that I cant wait to share and laugh with you about.

You'll learn below that I was rather protective of this diary... Somehow I feel this excitement to still keep some of these pages or childhood crushes or stories private. There's something special about keeping some of my thoughts in writing, secret. That's the promise I made to myself when writing it of course. We are a team after all.

If one thing you take after this, isn't just to read your own with some popcorn and trust me, be surprised with what you find, but to build that friend within yourself and listen to your child self, embrace it all sister because you and your child self are powerful. The childhood heartache or humiliation, arguments or jealousy. Because trust me when you embrace it all, you discover some of the most amazing things.

I had a thousand of these before reaching the actual content of my diary. For a 9 year old it was Genius really, but that didn't stop me sharing some secrets of mine on the internet all those years later...

Beth was one my closest and greatest childhood friends. One time I left my room to grab a drink, in which she'd of course, with childhood curiosity had picked up and started reading my diary. As she got through many of these keep out pages and finally reached this page, I started heading upstairs and got an inkling or gut "felling" she was reading. So I shouted "Put down my diary" She literally screamed. The timing in which shed read the page and then id shouted was hilarious for her. We laughed for a while.

Whether she made it past that page another day, who knows that's one secret she'll never tell. Right Beth?! ;)

Finding my old love letters from my first and oh so intense crush were quite the read. I love how it brew over MSN and how I signed it from ("the person that gave it to you") in case anyone in his class peeked over his shoulder at the time. Its so funny reading this and how I marked arrows and wrote notes on my own letter as if I was doing it at the same time as homework, grading it before I was going to send it. The ripped up letter next to it however is my favourite. Somehow there's something so powerful about rereading your old love letters or pre and mid teen fantasies.

"BLOBB" -Anyone else and their families used to call it this?

5 months in and yet she still was excited about her womanhood...Any feminine spirit girl that said they weren't secretly excited about them entering this stage of women hood may of been telling a sliced lime, however, 5 months in and shes still writing about it in her diary... Now that's crazy. Of course she and most of us cant say shes still as excited about that.

Yeah of course there's a little story behind this one and yes the show went on, she was okay, yes clean and it was "too fabulous". I love how I ended it with "well interesting".

Big Brother! After reading this I instantly googled Govan from Big Brother to see who I was wanting to win that year. Was such a nostalgic and amazing feeling seeing who was in the house that short decade ago. I remember him being brilliant. I remember being so invested in Josie and John James's TV relationship! Made me eager to watch the next big brother, shes over 18 so maybe i'll make it one year after all.

This is the one that had me in stitches. One of mine and a friends first Childhood Crush. Me and a close friend liked the same boy for a little while when young, I was so excited all these years later to show her this. To have a little giggle. Its so beautiful to see how love started, asking a boy to confirm if they liked you by not talking to you. Brilliant.

My "side kick" feelings or dreams. Now I kind of remember this one. I was off sick most likely playing GTA San Andreas or well Wallace and Gromit curse of the ware rabbit. I thought an ambulance was going to arrive to school and I wasn't there to snoop out the action, and it did. Not the craziest of "fellings" but got to give it to me, I was on to something.

By far my favourite to read. Our biggest crush in high school...Justin Bieber. "Were not allowed to bost because parent to jail" Amongst all the love letters, heartbreak, thoughts and fears I found what was a true treasure, one of the best times of my entire life. And captured that for myself in writing, for that also I am so grateful. Me and Sherrie felt like somehow we going there were meant to be, we were going to be chosen as a one less lonely girl, brought on stage and then somehow both runaway and marry him. Reading this, It all came flooding back. Me and Sherrie truly cant express how grateful we are to our families for making this possible for our child selves, and all the strangers buying home baked cakes from two kids.

So there you have it. Just a peek into my so private school diary, I hope you're inspired to read or write your own. But more so, build that friend within yourself and embrace it all. Of course there was some pages that was not as nice and strange to see amongst such normal childhood stories. But true happiness is when you accept things for what they are rather than thinking what they should be. Some of these things may not be in everyone's school diary, but I embraced it. Me and my friend self. And that in its self is bloody brilliant. xoxo

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