Updated: Jun 6, 2020
No subject is untouchable, I admit usually that's me sharing a story of how my urine accidentally spilt all over my doctor or celebrate funny photos behind the upload but today we are celebrating your strength, the power and resilience. I want to be honest real and raw. I want to dedicate this article to those on their journey that have ever felt like they haven't wanted to be here. Know you powerful and not alone, cynics lets unite!
First off if you are reading this for yourself, thank you. Your life means more than I can put into words, but I hope me trying, helps you find power in being here also. Because gosh I’m glad to be here on earth with you. You are so worth it. Your life that you owe to yourself is worth it.
Hopefully help you feel heard like you deserve. Hopefully help you feel you don't have to fight for your understanding and hopefully feel some relief to open up, because there are people that get it and for your own sanity know your voice is powerful.
Hopefully feel like the strength you've had to be here is recognised and so appreciated. Thank you for being here. Finally feel heard and listened to when speaking up. Those empowering people choosing recovery despite any setbacks, showing you what you and your inner friend really can do for yourself! I promise you that.
Have a life that is more than what it is now, more than mental health also, you deserve to enjoy the sounds and smells and textures of this planet we have been given.
You have more secret supporters than you realise. You do. Stepping into a support group of other powerful people that have unfortunately feel s*it outta luck also, you realise it can happen to anyone and you are a badass. You have a secret team supporting you.
Just like you, deserving to be and finally feel heard. There are people, working for their own self care adventure to help the silent support group of survivors see what's possible. You should be heard. You are f*king powerful. F*ing powerful I tell you.
If you are reading this for a friend, thank you. It is friends or supporters like you that are willing to learn that has helped me and will help many others in the future also. Whether you are reading this for a potential stranger and to carry a cape of information so you have some tools to potentially help someone one day. Thank you.
Truth is, experiencing this gift of life is enough. You are enough. We are enough. More than.
FEELING HEARD BECAUSE YOUR VOICE IS POWERFUL
You deserve to feel heard and will hopefully help with that together today. Many can relate to speaking up but feel they aren't fully heard or asked what they need, before are told something. We are learning to empower our own voice and others. What you feel you need in life to find that stability is important. Learning to be patient with the ones that love you dearly during the process. Knowing in your heart they are learning, ones that tell you "i think you need this ..." when you've told them I feel ... would help" Your voice is powerful, celebrate that. What you need or can help is important. Love anyone that tells you these things also because everyone's learning about your power, brains and accepting things also. Sometimes it takes time for others to learn how best to empower your opinion and voice too. And perception is a powerful thing! I promise you you'll notice you are loved, feel closer relationships once things feel possible also.
Once you feel heard and have that inner hug from yourself, these things will become easier to achieve. A possible feeling. I promise you that. You deserve the life you owe to yourself. How exciting would that be? Writing this article for almost a year, I have literally hugged the screen many times. It truly means the world to me to try help at least one person start this movement right this second. I've tried to include things that may not be in the system also. Things you deserve to know if it can help your life. Your life is so important.
Speaking to a professional and finding the right therapist for you is so important to help with that in the meantime. I know this can sometimes feel nerve wracking for those that are used to dealing with things solo. They are dedicated to letting you feel heard, empowered and release so much you have to say. Treating your life likes its not an untouchable subject. Because I promise you its not. You're so worth it. These people are dedicated to empowering you. Finding the right therapist or support group If you haven't already, speaking to your GP or if you prefer, you can self refer to talking therapies online about starting that journey. Calling and speaking to someone from Samaritans if you can. If feeling prepared helps, they often ask Hello how can I help you? Being prepared with an answer may help you not click the red button.
"A distraction please, can we talk about something on television?". "Today this happened and I'd like to talk about it." "I feeling anxious, please can we go through some breathing techniques?"
Information about talking therapies and how you can self refer onine( If different location in UK, you can change to your UK closest still using this link) ihttps://talkingtherapies.berkshirehealthcare.nhs.uk/make-a-referral/self-referrals/
Phone number: 116 123
Crisis Team - If things have ever feel more intense and they may need home visits during this time.
Phone Number 0300 365 9999
WONDERFUL WHAT YOU CAN DO!
Building your inner friend, because she or he is great,
How we can hear ourselves in a way of empowerment and understanding. Because you know you the best, no one knows your experiences as well as you. This is a great tool when building that friend.
To be able to be kind enough to not only understand yourself and be kind about why you feel the way you do but to say you accept hurting also, I may not of deserved somethings, I may regret things or people trusted that have led to here but I accept and understand why I feel like this and that I deserve better. To look in the mirror feeling unhappy about appearance and say “I accept you” and learn to dance.
Compassionate therapy may seem uncomfortable at first and takes practice but I promise you, it is possible for you, this is the most important thing and so worth it! You are worth it. Starting that journey right this second is worth it.
As you know, needed throughout every stage, giving ourselves what we need to get through each feeling and strengthen that relationship with yourself.
Writing a kind letter to yourself in the style of a friend -
Because you have been with you through everything. You understand the extent of your experiences. Deciding to write a letter to myself, I was nervous but when I made the decision to actually do it, I felt heard and excited to be sparking that friend within myself.
Writing a letter as your own friend for you can include;
I’m sorry you experienced this, you deserve wonderful things.
You deserve to feel heard and I'm excited for when you are as weve been waiting and your voice is powerful
I know your intentions and they are wonderful, Its okay if i’m not always understood in the moment
I hope you can accept yourself and body, i deserve to experience life
You've been through so much, i’m proud of you for what you've stood up from that takes courage
What I learn during this stage is important and I deserve to live, to be able to move forward, I hope you’ll feel that soon
I understand bad things can happen to anyone even if experiences are different and I owe it to myself to have the life that I owe to myself
I am worthy, enough and able. I am me, and what a blessing that will be.
As you know, whether that’s a dressing gown and movie distraction whilst you speak to someone and a cup of tea or going for a walk. Writing a list and speaking up about what you need in life to find stability even if there's some things to get there. But knowing that there are things you can do that are in your control, things that are in the system and support and many things not in the system yet also. So many things that can build that inner friend no matter the circumstance. Giving yourself that is so powerful in itself. You being here is a blessing! So thank you!
BECAUSE THIS GIFT OF LIFE YOU HAVE IS ENOUGH:
Writing Your List - Just some of the many reasons It's great time to be on this earth, there may be different things to write on your list but some may include;
Who you want to speak up for and why
A new series or sequel for a program or film thats coming out
Stepping on a autumn leaf and it sounds crunchy
Music, for the new albums and old music you listen to
For that place you dream of visiting
Sun shining through the window saying hello
For the hobbies you didn't know you had but have said sometime you'd like to try.
The sound of footprints in the snow
Spotting a cloud that is shaped like a fish
Sound of an Icecream truck
The smell of cucumber or bread
Sound of rain on the pavement or tiles
The feeling of rain hitting your skin or the smell of fresh air when the winds crisp
The robin that visits the branch nearby
For the program you started to watch, got into but not sure how it ends
Eurovision or comic relief, x factor or any annual event you enjoy
Enjoy your space and what you have as if its the first time discovering it
Trying to experience it as if its the first time. I call it “safe in the zombie apocalypse”. Walk into your house/room space as if it the very first time seeing these things. I imagine finding somewhere safe(my bedroom), resting and i have all these things, books, clothes or random items to look through. Allowing yourself to be intrigued and grateful with what you have or find and the things you do have in this room you've discovered. Allow yourself to be grateful and enjoy the things you have. Because you deserve to. And you'll notice how much you common you have with yourself when finding some things.
Finding a penny
That set of earrings you thought you lost
PJS you forgot you had
A leaflet that reminded you that you wanted to volunteer not too long ago- go for it
A receipt that reminds you of what shops or food you like
BECAUSE YOU ARE ENOUGH!
First of this is your life, you being here is enough. But for a hug to you, and because you deserve kinder thoughts,
Some of the amazing things your life offers, Let alone all the things you will add to this list but like i said this is your life, you being here is enough.
Thanking a postman, for you hold more greatness than you know
Preventing someone from stepping in poo, laughing with them when they do
The cat or dog nearby that loves your cuddles and needs them so
For the YouTuber that needs your views and opinion
Smiling at someone who really needed it that day, thank you
Your story and your experiences how you can comfort another
For the things you recycle, because of you, it has another adventure
Your change that could go in the charity pot, helping save a life that's amazing
For the bug you picked out your drink, that you didn't realise you saved because of it
Complimenting someone's haircut, now they feel they can enjoy it!
The way you make a cup of tea or coffee, water or squash.
For Your voice! And who you can speak up for with it!
Even if its been a while, your laugh is iconic.
For the songs you introduce, thank you for your taste in music
PSYCHOLOGY AND SCIENCE And a bit sh*tty luck so far,(And Spirituality) but knowing this can help you use the tools you have, know your power.
Building inner Friend
Being kind to yourself as much as possible to create a version of yourself that will encourage you. Will help battle any negative thoughts. This is within you and overtime you'll be excited you started today. This includes trusting in yourself, believing in a future of belief even if its difficult now. Being patient with yourself because its what's needed and anyone would if in your situation. To learn to be understanding to yourself and your emotions and encourage your voice. But as you start you'll see there a thousand welcoming ways to excite and ease you into this.
Writing a list of your worries and responding to that as your inner friend -
Worry Feeling- "I feel i'm not sure who to talk to." Your Inner Friend - "That's okay that Will Change! And I hear you! Right now there are so many people I can talk to, even if I don't feel like it now. So many options. Samaritans. Free Online Mental Health Chat rooms to choose from where you can talk to other people like me. A friend or family member. There's people at the church that dedicate their lives to helping people. I can speak to my GP about therapy. Finding a support group online with people like me. Know that You can do this, your voice is powerful"
Writing a kind letter to yourself during situations -
Whether its heartbreak or loosing a job tell yourself you are worth incredible things. Tell yourself you didn't deserve heartbreak. That there are career opportunities for you to explore. That in itself is so powerful, you've acknowledged, empowered yourself, now you can try move on.
Kiss Yo shoulder, hug yourself and pat yourself on the back -
Yes sounds bonkers but yes kiss your shoulder! try it! I stand by it! Just kissed my own shoulder as writing this. Showing yourself kindness, you're a team and you have your back. Showing these actions no matter the circumstance can help you feel it. You deserve to feel it.
Stimulating more possible
Trust me when I say there's power in sparking spontaneous choice at each opportunity. Trying things for the first time, taking a moment to step back whilst doing daily things and think what do I want to watch what does future me want to? What do I want to bake? what would my future self want to bake? Not only will it help spark more or all is possible but it will help overtime you feel like your way is great. Help you see there is many things for you to explore.
Walking a different route to your usual and enjoying the flowers on route
Deciding to make your hot chocolate or coffee different and make a new recipe with all milk and vanilla?
Choosing your glass/mug more carefully, choose which one you like
Bringing snorkels to the bath, painting, naked yoga. Making your care journey adventurous.
If there's one thing you notice is the physical effects of severe depression, the lack of energy as well as burst of irritable uncomfortable feeling. There are things to help this,
Cutting out caffine and replacing with decaf you'll surprisingly notice more energy and a slightly calmer heartbeat. Thank goodness we'll take it!
Improving sleep! Whether its setting bedtimes, no netflix before bed or clearing your work off your bed before sleeping.
Medication- If you can, this is worth speaking to your GP you may find something to help you rest and help chemicals in the brain.
Distraction! Chemical imbalance is what causes an intense feeling/ reaction to something that has hurt you so if reached out to others or find a distraction is helpful. You can watch a movie that grabs your attention, go for a walk, crossing something off of your to do list. Listening to a podcast whilst you rest.
Endorphins- Dancing, running, walking, swimming whatever works for you. Sends a movement to our brain that sparks a "oh im up! Lets concur life"
Power in your perception, power in your voice. Power in being so fed up you are ready to commit to your inner friend, ready for positive change.
For many, It feels difficult to make a good choice if feeling they don't have many great options at the time. This can and Will change! But I hear You! Rather avoiding a difficult decision that you desperately want to change you can focus on making making that decision easier, more welcoming in the meantime. Making it about the opportunities after moving forward from either choice. Try this and it may help to rip the band-aid off and move forward from negative influences in your life, invite more positive in.
In the meantime, One step at a time, Improving how you feel about this now;
Whether its heartbreak and writing a list of dream attributes or character qualities your soul mate would have. Planning something you have been wanting to. Knowing you deserve to feel loved and be respected. Enjoying your hobbies and interests to see there is more than just the difficulties you face. Writing a list of career paths that intrigue you so you don't feel stuck in the one you're in, if you like everything on your list more than what you are doing, try the first step, apply for an internship, a online diploma whatever it is for you, go for it its never to late and honestly when things are crap, what have you got to loose, sounds like its about time you listen to yourself. Empowering your voice helps depression tremendously, help you feel heard and empowered. Writing lists of things you'd like, options you'd like. Then believing that you deserve that and then behaving like it.
GOD LOVES YOU! He calls you his masterpiece. He hears you, he plants seeds for a better future. He knows every trial and tribulation, he sends angels to comfort during difficult times. He understands and shares compassion through each emotion. Knows your story. Knows your power. He Loves You, planned for you!
Gospel Worship music
Online or local church service
I started this blog not just to tell you to love yourself but help how to. Not only accept yourself, but tips on how to. To not only say that you're worth it, but try help you see it. To tell you to do what you dream and help you build and train the courage to go for it. To celebrate this life you have. Because boy you are worth it! This adventure to self celebration and positive change is a roller coaster but so worth it. And i'll be here to celebrate your journey, celebrating you. If you are intrigued In ways you can start this journey then two articles I've poured my heart into with years of tips and advise is Cosy Evening In -Tips that Work & Little Changes, Big Difference. They are two articles with dedicated ways, tips and things that can ease and excite you on this journey of self celebration. Gosh i'm glad you were born. You have the right to be here as you were born to be, God created you.